I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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