I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
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He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
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Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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