if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
