Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
