I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
