Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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