smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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