take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
