Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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