I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
