I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize