seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
did you just send me my own nude
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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