I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
