as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
