just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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