Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
