the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
