What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
