school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Someone stole a lamp last night.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
