You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize