David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
