I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
