Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
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