You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
