if i can run in heels then i can drive
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
