And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
