I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
