I smell stomach acid.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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