brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
