The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
