yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
