he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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