Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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