Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
COCAINE IS GR8
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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