One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
