doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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