yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
