hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
