no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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