Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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