I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
