Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I don't think brook has ever known best
only you would photoshop your dick
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
