I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
