sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
