his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
