just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
if only i could text you this smell
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
