well I can't set my house on fire every night
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
