I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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