How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
