paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize