So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
last night I used snow as a chaser
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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