i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
