Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I will pee on everything he values.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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