I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's never too late to be topless.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
