Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
