Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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