I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize